"I understood all the words. They were new and made sense. That's why the past was the past. That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away. You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I 'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me. I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play. People tell me that today that's how other women do things. But I'm not any other women. Before we get too close, before we throw it away, You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. I'll find other languages to sing your praises. I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests. I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers. I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still. I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me. I'll make myself new so the fire starts again. I'll become like those other women who make you happy. Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire. I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark. I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still."

Thursday, January 17, 2013

She stood before him, wearing only a transparent nightgown. Her hair was pushed behind her shoulders and he could distinctly see her erect nipples. He lifted a finger to his mouth and licked it with his saliva, his eyes never leaving her breasts. Slowly, he reached out to put his wet finger against the fabric of her nightgown, right on her nipple. The moistened fabric stuck to her skin, drawing more clearly the outline of her nipple. He slowly leaned over to blow on it, sending shivers through her body.
He looked at her, a flash of lust in his eyes, and put his mouth where his finger was a few seconds ago, taking the hard little pearl between his teeth. She began to pant, not daring to move for fear that he should stop. She threw her head back and gave him access to her body, allowing him silently to do what he wished. He seemed to understand the implicit message and rested his hands on her thighs, slowly descending them to the hem of her nightgown. There, he grabbed the edges and made it back up on her legs, always so slowly, while his mouth continued to suck the now soaked fabric. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath her nightgown, and she shivered when the cool air of the room blew gently on her shaved mound.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012



Such a small word, but huge meaning. How many times can you give your trust back to someone when you know they keep lying to you? Is there a rule? If you always give it back, or at least if you’re willing to try to give it back, after you have proof that you’ve been played, does that mean you’re stupid and pathetic? Or merely to trusting?

Taking your trust back is easy; hurtful, but easy. Keep trusting is harder.

I have a tendency to trust everybody, until proved otherwise. And even then, it takes a lot for me to take it back.

Sometimes, you find out that your trust was misplaced. So you try to talk about it. You tell them what you’ve learned, and you wait for them to explain. But then they just take you in their arms and tell you that they love you. You melt and surrender. And after awhile, you realize that they never answered you, never even tried. So you wonder… Have I surrendered too easily? Of course you did. But why?

Because you’re afraid to push it, afraid of what they would tell you if you did… Because, maybe, deep down, you know the answer. But you don’t want to face it. You want everything to remain as it is, and being told that you’re loved. Is that what you call being a coward? I guess so. And I have to confess, I’m the biggest coward on earth…

Friday, July 6, 2012

You're back

I’m turning my back to the door but I can feel you enter the bathroom, my body naked except for the damp towel that I wrapped around me in haste when I heard the front door opened. Knowing you, I’m sure that you took the time to undress before coming to me, never doubting that I will welcome you.  
Even though I’m mad about you for disappearing for so long and much to my shame, I feel every parcel of my body, this traitor, remembering exactly how it feels to be against you and already reacting to your presence, tingling with anticipation.
It’s been so long. My mind thought I’ll never see you again; but my heart yearned to have you once more in me.
You don’t say a word; you never felt the need to explain yourself. You slowly come behind me and reach out to drop the towel that I hold on to like my life was depending on it, knowing that it was the last barrier between your body and mine. I let it go with a sigh and you turn me around to face you and take me in your arms, welcoming me with a knowing smile on your sensual lips. You slowly lower your head and gently kiss me; first, a light brush of your lips against mine; then you put more pressure and deepen the kiss, while your hands caress my back up and down.   
In spite of your lack of explanations and the fact that you’re showing no sign of remorse for letting me doubt and fear, I know that I won’t be able to resist you… I want you so badly and you know it. I can see it in your eyes when you raise your head to look at me.
You begin our “dance of love” as you call it by murmuring sweet nothings to my ear. You know how much I get turned on by your words. Your breath on my neck sends shivers through my whole body. Your fingers play leisurely on my nape. Your tongue traces a path from my neck to my shoulder while your hand goes to my breast, caressing it lightly….
Knowing that I won’t say no anymore, you drag me to the bedroom where you lay me gently on the bed. I look at you, my eyes pleading. You know what I want.
I want you to make me feel alive with your hands, your mouth and your body;
I want to be your only concern;
I want to see in your eyes all the love you feel for me;
I want to feel in your gestures all the tenderness you feel for me; 
I want to hear in your words all the passion you feel for me;
I want you to love me like there’s no tomorrow;
I want to be so much loved that I won’t remember anything before us;

Your mouth replaces your fingers on my breast and you slightly bite me. Your head goes further down, reaching the most sensitive part of my body, and covering it with a wet and open kiss. Your tongue comes circling my clitoris, teasing it, licking it, bringing me so much pleasure that my body begins to shiver.
Unable to resist, I convulse in raw shudders, crying out your name and arching my back. When I finally stop moving, sated and happy, your mouth still lingers, as if you were reluctant to stop. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Kiss me like you mean it

I was lying in my bed, thinking dirty thoughts about you, when I heard the doorbell. Grumbling about whoever it was who came to disturb me in my fantasy, I put on a robe and went for the door. I tried to look through the peephole, but the hallway was in the dark and I couldn’t see more than a man’s shape, big and muscular.  
I cracked open the door and gasped, seeing you in front of me, smiling that beautiful smile of yours, the one I’ve seen so many times on my computer’s screen. My mouth opened to let you know how happy I was to see you, how thrilled I was to finally see you on my doorstep; but you didn't give me any time to say anything. You pushed me against the wall, closed the door with your foot and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Your hands slipped under my robe, touching my skin for the first time. I moaned in your mouth and pressed my body against yours, frustration filling me when I couldn’t touch any of your skin in return.  
You seemed to understand my need to touch your bare skin and took a step back, looking at me with mischievous eyes and began to undress in an urgency that matched my own. I looked at you as your clothes were falling on the floor, discovering the body I dreamed about so many times before.
Your large and muscled chest.
Your flat stomach.
The happy trail that disappeared under your briefs.
Your strong thighs.
Even your ankles were a pleasure for the eyes.
You stayed there for a few seconds, looking at me in your briefs, and you finally reached out to take them off very slowly, in spite of the urgency that I could still see in your eyes. Your cock sprang free, the beautiful cock I knew would soon be in me, bringing me the pleasure that I’ve been denied for so long.
My head was spinning with all the emotions that were going through my body, and I stood there, unable to move or think. You didn’t have that problem and after one last look at me, you reached out to tear up my robe in a violent grip.
When we were finally both naked, you took me in your arms and pushed me back against the wall. My legs came to wrap around your hips, and you penetrated me with one swift movement, no preliminaries necessary when we both have been waiting for this moment for so long.       

Friday, June 15, 2012

Did you say Pathetic?

Social Networks are fun… at the beginning; and if you take them for what they are: an immense playground for grown-ups who can pretend to be who they are not and fool every credulous people they encounter. Being one of these credulous people, I find it really hard now to handle it.

I think I encountered every asshole you can find on the net. They are mostly men, but there are some women too.

I always lived a much protected life, surrounded by people who, when they said they cared for me, really meant it. Of course, I met untrustworthy people. I was not THAT protected. But when you have that person face to face, it's easier to tell if they are sincere or not. Social Network can't do that.

I had numerous people (mostly men, I admit it) who swore to me that they were my friend, and talked to me for a certain time, then completely ignore and even deleted me. Either because I didn’t give them what they were waiting for, or because they found somebody more...interesting than me. It hurt me every time. I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. I still believe that people mean what they say. How foolish is that?

Then there are those who need me. For any reason. But they need me. So they talk to me when they need something, then can go without talking to me at all for some time. Until they need me again. Oh and don’t forget the women… Most of the time, they talk to me because they want to know my relation with a certain man. They are jealous and want him for themselves. When they find out that there’s nothing between us, they stop talking with me. Not interesting anymore…again.

And I’m falling for it every time…again. Does that make me pathetic? Yes, definitely.  

There’s a reason why I’m writing all this. It’s therapeutic. No one will read it, but I’ll feel better anyway. I just want to be strong enough to leave this stupid Facebook (of course I was talking about Facebook, isn’t it obvious). It used to be funny, lots of interaction. Now, it’s only promoting, either their books or their blogs. After a while, you can't find anything more to say beside “great, congrats,” so you just stop commenting altogether. And you don’t feel like posting anything either, because, be realistic, no one gives a shit. So why stay? I’m asking myself this question every day. I didn’t find an answer yet. If I ever find one, I’ll let you know.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The mirror of the soul

I stare at your eyes.
I can't help myself. I know you want a kiss, and I'll give it you. How could I not. But your eyes have a strange effect on me. They mesmerize me.
So gentle and hungry.
So tender and fierce.
So happy and impatient.
So lazy and excited.
You are everything I hoped for.