"I understood all the words. They were new and made sense. That's why the past was the past. That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away. You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I 'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me. I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play. People tell me that today that's how other women do things. But I'm not any other women. Before we get too close, before we throw it away, You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. I'll find other languages to sing your praises. I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests. I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers. I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still. I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me. I'll make myself new so the fire starts again. I'll become like those other women who make you happy. Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire. I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark. I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

T.R.U.S.T.





Trust…

Such a small word, but huge meaning. How many times can you give your trust back to someone when you know they keep lying to you? Is there a rule? If you always give it back, or at least if you’re willing to try to give it back, after you have proof that you’ve been played, does that mean you’re stupid and pathetic? Or merely to trusting?

Taking your trust back is easy; hurtful, but easy. Keep trusting is harder.

I have a tendency to trust everybody, until proved otherwise. And even then, it takes a lot for me to take it back.

Sometimes, you find out that your trust was misplaced. So you try to talk about it. You tell them what you’ve learned, and you wait for them to explain. But then they just take you in their arms and tell you that they love you. You melt and surrender. And after awhile, you realize that they never answered you, never even tried. So you wonder… Have I surrendered too easily? Of course you did. But why?

Because you’re afraid to push it, afraid of what they would tell you if you did… Because, maybe, deep down, you know the answer. But you don’t want to face it. You want everything to remain as it is, and being told that you’re loved. Is that what you call being a coward? I guess so. And I have to confess, I’m the biggest coward on earth…

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