"I understood all the words. They were new and made sense. That's why the past was the past. That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away. You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I 'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me. I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play. People tell me that today that's how other women do things. But I'm not any other women. Before we get too close, before we throw it away, You should know I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else. I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame. I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still. I'll find other languages to sing your praises. I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests. I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers. I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still. I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me. I'll make myself new so the fire starts again. I'll become like those other women who make you happy. Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire. I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark. I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still."

Friday, July 6, 2012

You're back









I’m turning my back to the door but I can feel you enter the bathroom, my body naked except for the damp towel that I wrapped around me in haste when I heard the front door opened. Knowing you, I’m sure that you took the time to undress before coming to me, never doubting that I will welcome you.  
Even though I’m mad about you for disappearing for so long and much to my shame, I feel every parcel of my body, this traitor, remembering exactly how it feels to be against you and already reacting to your presence, tingling with anticipation.
It’s been so long. My mind thought I’ll never see you again; but my heart yearned to have you once more in me.
You don’t say a word; you never felt the need to explain yourself. You slowly come behind me and reach out to drop the towel that I hold on to like my life was depending on it, knowing that it was the last barrier between your body and mine. I let it go with a sigh and you turn me around to face you and take me in your arms, welcoming me with a knowing smile on your sensual lips. You slowly lower your head and gently kiss me; first, a light brush of your lips against mine; then you put more pressure and deepen the kiss, while your hands caress my back up and down.   
In spite of your lack of explanations and the fact that you’re showing no sign of remorse for letting me doubt and fear, I know that I won’t be able to resist you… I want you so badly and you know it. I can see it in your eyes when you raise your head to look at me.
You begin our “dance of love” as you call it by murmuring sweet nothings to my ear. You know how much I get turned on by your words. Your breath on my neck sends shivers through my whole body. Your fingers play leisurely on my nape. Your tongue traces a path from my neck to my shoulder while your hand goes to my breast, caressing it lightly….
Knowing that I won’t say no anymore, you drag me to the bedroom where you lay me gently on the bed. I look at you, my eyes pleading. You know what I want.
I want you to make me feel alive with your hands, your mouth and your body;
I want to be your only concern;
I want to see in your eyes all the love you feel for me;
I want to feel in your gestures all the tenderness you feel for me; 
I want to hear in your words all the passion you feel for me;
I want you to love me like there’s no tomorrow;
I want to be so much loved that I won’t remember anything before us;

Your mouth replaces your fingers on my breast and you slightly bite me. Your head goes further down, reaching the most sensitive part of my body, and covering it with a wet and open kiss. Your tongue comes circling my clitoris, teasing it, licking it, bringing me so much pleasure that my body begins to shiver.
Unable to resist, I convulse in raw shudders, crying out your name and arching my back. When I finally stop moving, sated and happy, your mouth still lingers, as if you were reluctant to stop. 







14 comments:

  1. There are many reasons why a man leaves, some of those reasons are obvious, some are obscure. However, when he keeps coming back, again and again, the reason is clear - it's because of her, it's because of you.

    It's your taste, your smell, the tight and delicious liquid heat of your love that keeps drawing him back like a moth to a flame. He can't give you up, not matter how many times he leaves. He belongs to you, just as much as you belong to him. Muwah!@

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  2. I think men sometimes are insecure with their power and their very prowess and it takes a truly special woman to bring out the inner passionate being, the one he always knew was buried deep inside and when the one woman does, there is little she or they can do to break such a bond. Only death brings about the disjoining and even then - the spirit lives on.

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  3. Sometimes people leave because of fear or doubt, or even insecurity. Sometimes they fear that their insecurity will make them not good enough. Sometimes they leave and no matter what they can't stay away. Some people just have this connection where they can't keep away from each other.

    I will agree with Benjamin, something draws him back. Like a magnet. You just can't separate. I think there are people out there who are meant to be together, even if they might not see it, something brings them together over and over again.

    Such a beautiful post.

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  4. It's crazy the things we'll do for the one we love. While he may have his reasons for leaving, we will have the only reason that matters to wait for him - impatient, hurt, doubtful and often a little insecure, somehow they make us feel all these things yet still we wait for them to come back to us. When they do, the first thought is somehow not what they made us feel by leaving, but how it felt while they were here, while their arms wrapped us up, made us safe.
    It's the thing we would do anything to get back...even forgive you before you asked for it.

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  5. There may be reasons in a mans mind why he leaves,never understanding the full reality to his actions. When a women loves this deeply just his voice is enough to make her body react. To have him just near her one more time if even for a moment, a touch, a single kiss can give a woman so much hope. Those feelings can go along way to carry her through life.

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  6. It's so hard to reconcile the heart with the mind when you still want and love the one who has left or hurt you so badly. The sexual bond between good lovers can be so strong; capable of swaying one's mind to do something they know may not be good for them where the relationship is concerned.

    I enjoyed reading this Jade, the emotion and love shined through and the pic is hawt! :)

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  7. Sensuous gentle and soft. Very sweet and yet words didn't have to be said. Touch. The crave of another is strosng like a drug. To have that. Like her sweet nector she offers up to him. Powerful.

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    1. This is beautiful. Jade you capture that unconditional love that is so rare. THis is filled with so much passion that only can be expressed by touch. Why do men laave? There seems to be so many answers to this question. It seems that the number one reason is fear...fear of loosing himself completely in her. She feely admits to herself she has already lost herself in him. What keeps him comming back? Is it her fragrace, her touch, her feel in his arms, how she comes completely undone in his arms, could it be her love? Or could it be something less? I would love to see more of this story...to see how it plays out in the cool light of day after the passion has subsided to a low flame.

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  8. This was beautiful Jade...incroyable mon amie. It touched me in a way you can't imagine. People "leave" for alot of reasons. Sometimes they are scared about what they feel especially men, I think. Sometimes they don't know what else to do, they have done all they can and weren't getting through. But I agree with everyone here, if there is something drawing him/her back there is a "reason". Fear holds all of us down/back...it keeps us from going from that first step, but if we don't try we will never know. This is so very emotional and poignant Jade you should make it longer and tell us what happens next. As for the woman, I understand her completely...when you love(or when I do) I am completely open and never think of turning the person away or making the person "grovel". Hell he came back that is all I would care about. :) And if a man shows up like that...I am all IN. LOL

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  9. I on the other hand am totally confused by the above read.
    With my eyes wide open I see a man that loves having sex with this woman. The beauty of it is beyond me and my words, probably because I love sex, with no words in between, way too much. It is how it's supposed to be. There are no conversations when our insticts take over. It's all pleasure and satisfaction. I loved the scene, beautifully written. Of course he would come back!
    The confusing part was the woman's own confusion. Can she really misunderstand him that much? Can she not make the distinction between love and sex? All I read above was "I".
    I want you to make me feel alive with your hands, your mouth and your body;
    I want to be your only concern;
    I want to see in your eyes all the love you feel for me;
    I want to feel in your gestures all the tenderness you feel for me;
    I want to hear in your words all the passion you feel for me;
    I want you to love me like there’s no tomorrow;
    I want to be so much loved that I won’t remember anything before us;
    All the above show me nothing more than insecurity. That is what I'm taking from this. The woman is all about her, her, her... Ofc this is the first time I'm reading this blog, perhaps I've missed earlier posts that explain the relation between those two more, but as a stand-alone, this excerpt is about a selfish, insecure and totally confused women in my eyes.
    I apologise for being harsh, but know I'm being honest.
    Comments on my thoughts are welcomed, I will subscribe to this post aswell as follow the blog.
    Seems interesting.

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    1. I'm sorry Thommie but I completely disagree with your take. To me this piece has very little to do with sex, but instead a complete bonding between them. Love and trust in a relationship of this nature goes beyond what many couples can understand or see in others. What I see from the piece is her total devotion to not only him and his needs but also her love for him - unbridled and full of passion, yet her confusion is based on her innate and heartfelt desire and utter need to please him more, take their relationship to an even higher level. Their devotion needs no words, yet she wants to remind him every day of her connection, her bonding. This is her heart and soul speaking, not an insecure woman. In fact her words to me are just the opposite. She is strong in her convictions and beliefs and in her knowledge of what they share - she only enjoys reminding him every once in a while because she is a woman after all – full of spice and sass and I can tell by her words alone he loves that about her and encourages the woman inside.

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    2. Thommie, regarding your comment, in all honestly, when I first read the piece I did not get that same profound impression of insecurity from it that you did. I see a woman who is hopelessly in love and bound to this man no matter how he treats her. She desires him emotionally and physically.

      It pains her that he can just leave for stretches at a time and return as if he'd never been gone. What bothers her the most and what gives her the most angst - is that she can't seem to help herself. She doesn't care how long it takes him to come back, she's just happy when he does. Is that insecurity or is she strong in her love and commitment to him - no matter what he does?

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  10. Well, being told in first person, you are only going to get what is going through the woman's mind. It seems like the man has hurt her, and yet there is such a draw between them she is powerless to say no (at the moment) Lovely post Jade, and interesting take, Thommie. I don't see an insecure woman, I see a woman torn. There is a difference.

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  11. This was a stunning post, Jade. It is my first visit here, but I will definitely be back for more.
    The piece speaks to me of a woman in love. I think she feels taken for granted, that he can do as he pleases and she will always accept him back. What else is she to do? She aches for him, needs him physically and emotionally. She loves him completely, although he hurts her. She doesn't understand his ability to stay gone from her. He offers no explanation or consolation. He cannot grasp the things she feels and thinks when he does this to her. He cannot love her the way she does him, because she could never do these things to him. To have him touch her again, to whisper in her ear, to make her feel complete again, is a sweet torture. Her heart clutches to this time with him. Her body responds as if he were made for her alone. Her head, however, registers that he will continue to do this, and on continues the cycle. Is it worth it in the long run? Maybe not, but the memories of their time together will stay with her. Always.
    I loved that you wrote this in first person. It compels the reader to connect with her emotionally, and feel things deeper than the words. Bravo!

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